The forecast is nothing short of terrible. There is already a lot of wind, gusting 34 knots right now, and it is going to stay like that for the next four days. The system approaching us right now is messy with intense areas of breeze, many changes in wind direction which will result in a terrible sea state and it's moving fast. Already we have more wind than forecast so I won't be surprised if we see 50 knots in the next couple of days. The navigation through this is very tricky and I am every mindful of a boat and a skipper who have 90 days of wear and tear under their belts.

Just to prove the point that this race is not going to finish with a gentle saunter to the line, I had a two hour battle with my Down wind code zero tonight which has left me exhausted and a bit bruised, with a half furled sail stuffed down the forehatch and a furler in bits in the cabin. If I can't fix the furler then I will have no downwind sails until the finish.

There is no moon at the moment and a lot of cloud so the night is solid impenetrable black. I can't see the bow of the boat very easily and in these conditions a small detail can go unnoticed then escalate to a big problem in a matter of minutes. In this case it was the mast head halyard, which had come loose and then wound itself around the code zero as I made the furl. This stopped the sail from furling properly, leaving a bulge at the top, and created torsion on the cable. I did not see this until I was on the foredeck with the tack eased to drop the sail. The minute the tack was off the extra torsion spun the bottom of the sail around wrapping the furling line tightly around the sail and binding the tackline in tight twists. The sail would now not furl in or out and I could not get the halyard off the top lock because the mast head halyard was holding it up there.

The breeze was building, of course, and waves washing over the deck. There is always a tiny second of panic that comes over me in these situations. It's really quick and hardly registers but its a jump inside, with the question, 'what happens if you can't sort this out?'. The answer is always the same so the moment is only short. ' I have to sort it out, one way or another.'

There followed two hours of trying various ways to get the sail to the deck. Each new approach would involve staggering backwards and forwards up the bouncing deck between cockpit and pulpit, winding ropes on, letting them off then going forwards to see if it had made any difference. Eventually I managed to unfurl half of the sail enough to get the halyard lock off and then had the fun game of trying to pull a 165 sq meter sail into the deck with one arm, while easing the halyard with the other, in the knowledge that if it goes in the water I will most likely loose it as the force of water in the sail will rip it. By the time I was finished I felt completely depleted.

These last few days represent not only opportunity but also risk and as the conditions are far from favourable I really can't afford to have another mess up like that.

Road to Vendee Memory 3 - My first Race
I turned up at the Bermudes 1000 race having only been sailing Superbigou for two months. I delivered the boat over from the UK with two young sailors who had contacted me online and volunteered to help with my preparations and we were met by two friends on the other side. I felt completely out of place in my old and tired boat, with a volunteer crew and looking slightly down at heel. The rest of the fleet seemed so polished and professional. I was intimidated and scared to talk to anyone. Right up until the start gun went i was terrified. Terrified i would be left far behind or would have a collision with another boat or would break something and have to retire. I knew I had to finish the race to get my first qualification event banked for the Vendee Globe. As soon as the gun went all the fear dissolved. I'd spent two months learning to sail Superbigou, it was far from a honed skill but it was good enough to get me safely around the course, building my confidence all the way
 . It was a week to enjoy.

Vendee Tunes -
This is a fighting tune - Muse - Uprising